I will still regularly be considering submissions, though – please send.

I don’t want to lose my wonderful reader-commentators, but I do understand the vastness of the web-world – there’s a lot of good stuff out there.

If you register via RSS feed you’ll be notified when something new appears.

Be well!

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Fairbairn, W.D. (1952). Psychoanalytic studies of the personality. Tavistock: London, p. 27

Photo: Gated, originally uploaded by Arbron.

]]> http://dailycon.wordpress.com/2008/01/23/motives-of-the-revolutionary-and-the-quisling/feed/ 1 Dr.Steve http://dailycon.wordpress.com/2008/01/20/the-apparent-spontaneity-of-the-pick-up-artist/ http://dailycon.wordpress.com/2008/01/20/the-apparent-spontaneity-of-the-pick-up-artist/#comments Sun, 20 Jan 2008 19:18:07 +0000 http://dailycon.wordpress.com/2008/01/20/the-apparent-spontaneity-of-the-pick-up-artist/ ]]> Perhaps he should be called ‘the pick-up technician’ in recognition of the mental knots he ties both himself and the other in:

There are three traits a successful indirect opener should possess: It should appear spontaneous, be motivated by curiosity, and be interesting to most people.

The method: Left over right and under…

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Neil Strauss (2007) Rules of the game. Melbourne: Text, p. 49.

Photo: Knot, originally uploaded by lizjones112

#4 Picking a Fight – The Confrontational Choice of Words

“Why do you always…” “Do you expect me to…” “I can’t believe you would…” “I thought we were going to…” “Why should I have to…” “I’ve been told that…” “How could you…” “Why don’t you…” “Did you hear me?” “Well, does that mean that I have to….” “I thought you…” “Don’t you think you(we) should…” Are you telling me…” “I thought we agreed…” “Only an idiot would…” are examples of verbal attack moves. These are phrases used to put you on the defensive. So, like a good chess player, set up a strategic counter move. Just say “That’s my decision”, “I know you’re unhappy, but that’s the way it is” “I’ll have to think about that” “You seem upset” “We don’t always have to agree.” “I prefer it that way” Learn the art and science of not taking the bait. Let some things slide. Don’t respond to bad behaviour. It’s their confrontational chip-on-the-shoulder that you’re seeing now. These confrontational questions are pure bait and he’s looking for a fight. Don’t take the bait!!

Strategy #4. Be aware of verbal tactics that make you feel you want to defend yourself. Know you do not have to defend yourself. To minimize their ability to ‘bait’ you it may be best to just agree and say “You’re right” and drop the subject. One difficult part of this is to realize it’s hard for us to not say “I’m sorry but…” Expect the inevitable hissy-fit rage when they’re manipulation is ended, IGNORE THEIR WORDS, simply say something like “We’ll talk later when you aren’t so upset.” Try to avoid saying “I’m sorry but…”

From ‘Twin peaks’: “Leo doesn’t talk, he hits” [after baiting].

Grant: I beg your pardon. I have a very sick woman here. You don’t mind, do you?
Man (flustered): Well, no…I mean…perfectly all right.

Then, in the cab:
Maggie: Poor man.
Grant: Oh, come come. I made him a happy man. I made him feel like a Good Samaritan.
Maggie: He knew you were lying.
Grant: Aah, Maggie, in the world of advertising there’s no such thing as a lie. There’s only the expedient exaggeration. You ought to know that.

Photo: Hitchcock Leytonstone London Underground Mosaics – North by Northwest, originally uploaded by Annie Mole

In order to make sure she was invited places, she would tempt people with false information, and ingratiate herself.

Here’s one example: she told a bunch of husbands that this one particular friend had the hots for them – a very beautiful woman who does not speak English as a first language.

The husbands would then be sure to attend the social events – giving the Parkinson’s woman a ride.

Finally, the beautiful friend – who was happily married – found out, from her husband who was livid. (A few of the husbands told their wives and also told the husband) This beautiful friend didn’t speak English well enough to understand what was going on, and, being a very kind person, she was helping out our friend with Parkinson’s in giving her rides places, making sure she was invited places, etc.

You can imagine the havoc – the wives were angry at the husbands who were flattered at the interest, the beautiful friend had to explain to her own husband, etc. Plus, several of the husbands refused to go anywhere near the beautiful friend – which hurt her feelings and left her wondering what she did wrong.

Suffice it to say, the Parkinson’s ‘friend’ is not at all embarrassed by getting caught. She tried to deny it, but now just shrugs it off as a scheme that didn’t work, sheesh, everyone is so upset, what’s the problem? Just get over it. She said she was sorry. (The “how not to apologize” guide was followed precisely).

She has flat affect, absolutely no remorse or embarrassment about being caught in any lies, and actually tries to be helpful in suggesting little frauds that other people may want to try out.

Out of curiosity – not combatively or anything – I asked her why she lies so much? I think she answered honestly: she supposed it was power. I heard that when she was a little girl, she would force her little friends under her bed and guard them – making sure they didn’t come out. She didn’t know why she did that.

She doesn’t get that people aren’t “angry” – but that people are disgusted by her (lack of) character.

Sad story – I wonder if this is common in Parkinson’s.

How about Jack Bauer, of the TV show ’24 hours’? You do the math – one needs to satify at least four of these criterion to qualify:

Failure to conform to social norms with respct to lawful behaviors indicated by repeatedly performing acts that are grounds for arrest.

Deceitfulness, as indicated by repeated lying, use of aliases, or conning others for personal profit or pleasure.

Impulsivity or failure to plan ahead.

Irritability and aggressiveness as indicated by repeated physical fights or assaults.

Reckless disregard for safety of self or others.

Consistent irresponsibility, as indicated by repeated failure to sustain consistent work behavior of honor financial obligations.

Lack of remorse, as indicated by being indifferent to or rationalizing having hurt, mistreated or stolen from another.

Insensitivity to pain.

So, how does Jack do in in this show about a man constantly “at the crossroads of urgency and ethics.”

Before we make a decision, here is a tip from Dr. James Morrison’s guide for diagnosis:
Career criminals whose anti-social behavior is confined to their ‘professional lives’, may not fulfil the criteria for Anti-social Personality Disorder. They may instead be diagnosed as having Adult Antisocial Behavior.

Mm, OK, but Jack’s personal and professional and personal boundaries are rather porous. Also, notice that this is comparing a (fictional) government agent to a career criminal.

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James Morrison (1995) DSM-IV made easy: A clincian’s guide to diagnosis. New York and London: The Guilford Press, p. 478.

Appellation: Greetings, mofo!

Very early, owing in part to English Protestant propagandists, the word “Jesuitical” came to characterize a form of argument designed less to seek the truth than to make a case, a form of argument that was aggressive and clever but perhaps not always sincere – indeed, one that was at times cunningly equivocal or downright deceitful. Aside from pure anti-Jesuit animus, this nuance probably arose from the work of some 17th-century Jesuit theologians who imperfectly employed a method known as “casuistry” in resolving questions of moral theology – an approach that gave the broadest possible leeway to individual behavior. This form of justification, which became known as “laxism,” may explain why Jesuit priests were the confessors of choice among Europe’s Catholic aristocracy.

An example from Robert Hare‘s ‘Without conscience’:
When asked if he had ever committed a violent offence, a man serving time for theft answered, “No, but I once had to kill someone.”

Theme song: Parsing is such sweet bullcrap.

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Cullen Murphy (1996) Jesuitical vs. Talmudic: Making arguments, splitting hairs. Slate June 25.

Robert Hare (1993). Without conscience: The disturbing world of the psychopaths among us. New York and London: The Guilford Press, p.125.

Photo: Side Altar at the Jesuit Church in Vienna, originally uploaded by jrodenbiker

Some months ago, the Simpson defense team assumed O.J.’s perspective and realized that their client was flubbing his performance as an innocent man unjustly accused. O.J. never screamed, “Let’s nail the shitbird who killed my wife!”

The defense team worked up some belated damage control….via a toll-free tip hot line. O.J. offered a fat reward for information leading to the apprehension of the real snuff artists – cash he might or might not have after his lawyers bleed him dry….The defense team, eager to cast the LAPD as both incompetent and racist, put out their public appeal – in case potential witnesses missed the canvassing cops and the media coverage attending the most publicized crime of all time. This was a move of epic disingenuousness – specious in its logical structuring and wholly cynical in its application….

The Simpson defense team understands the tortured history of the LAPD and Los Angeles Blacks – both its historical validity and the level of justified and irrational paranoia that it has produced. They put out a magnet to attract misinformation, fear, and outright madness – and some of the more presentable bits they receive may show up in court as fodder to further confuse and already informationally swamped jury.

Principle: The law of attraction.

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James Ellroy (1994) Sex, glitz, and greed: The seduction of O.J. Simpson, in Crime wave: Reportage and fiction from the underside of L.A. London: Arrow, 1999, p. 243.

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Photo: O. J. Simpson, originally uploaded by Alan Light:
“Photo taken February 1986 at the Kahala Hilton Hotel in Honolulu Hawaii. Photo shows OJ holding one of his children, posing with my sister. Nicole Brown Simpson was with O.J. and watching behind camera. Permission granted to copy, publish or post but please credit ‘photo by Alan Light’ if you can.”

Done.